Oct 5/10
To "The Ultimate Multitasker"
I know, it happens. You've just sat down to take a nice crunchy shit, and your phone rings. How embarrassing! But, like most embarrassing things, it happens to pretty much everyone at some point. You just reach on down and nudge whatever magic button silences it, and deal with it when you're done.
Okay, okay, there are those rare exceptions, when you're expecting a call and it's life-or-death, or there's an emergency. You notice it's one of those calls, assess your situation within the shit process, and deal with it accordingly. If you haven't really started yet, or you're pretty much done but in the wait-and-see if there's more period, then I think it would be borderline acceptable to take a super-important call.
However, if you're right in the middle of the process, grunting like a 90 yr old redneck fucking a sheep on top, and making that horrible rubber boots walking in really wet mud noise on the bottom, you let it go to voicemail. You do not try to take a call in this situation. Ever.
Okay. One exception. If you're expecting a conference call from Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, the Pope, Queen Elizabeth II, Prez Obama, Oprah, Bob Dylan, Salman Rushdie, Francis Ford Coppola and the talking robot from Lost In Space, telling you how awesome you are, then you can take the call. But try to keep the sheepfuck grunting on the quiet side.
And if it's a call from your bank, to set up an appointment to refinance your mortgage, it can wait.
And if you need to confirm the date with your wife, DON'T YOU FUCKING CALL HER WHILE STILL GRUNTING AND GURGLING.
There is not a single phone call in the world that needs to be dialed while you're taking a crap. You know how you can tell that call was a really bad idea? Cause she kept making you repeat yourself when the other noises you were making drowned out your voice. That could wait. Oh, and the confirmation call back to your banker....that could wait too.
Sincerely
Ren
ps: You should probably go see a doctor. Even minus the phone call, that just wasn't right.
