This is not the first time that muslims have responded like medieval savages to modern day events (Salman Rushdie's fatwa, Danish cartoons of mohammed, Terry Jones and his qur'an burning idiocy) and it is certainly not the last. There just seems to be difficulty understanding that people who are not members of your religion do not have to follow the laws of your religion.
You can wring your hands all you want about muslims killing muslims in pakistan because some verse in their holy book says that adultery, or blasphemy, or whatever silly thing this week, is punishable by death.. Sure....to a Canadian it seems barbaric and wrong and completely in violation of countless principals that this country is founded on.....but a) it's not our country b) all the parties involved are playing the same stupid game and know the rules going in. This doesn't mean we should just ignore it.....we shouldn't. We should, through our government, and through private companies that do business in these areas put pressure on the people to abandon their backwards ways and join the 21st century.
However....what we can't tolerate is when muslims expect the western world to follow their rules within the borders of our own countries. As you've probably heard.....free speech and freedom of religion are two of the most important principles of western living. In this case what it comes down to is that within our borders, you're allowed to believe whatever crazy mixed-up stupid shit you want....put a funny hat with a bow on top of it....and call it god almighty....and nobody can force you to believe otherwise. But what they can do....is mock the ever-loving shit out of you for being a crazy fuck who is worshiping a soup can with a couple of googly muppet eyes glued to it (or whatever you picked). Any you know what....being a civilized country, that's not necessarily a very civilized thing to do.....but ... you can do it. Nobody has to listen to you though. And no matter how much it hurts your feelings.....you don't get to beat them up, or kill them. And if they draw a picture of your little google-eyed soupy god having anal sex with a goat, you still don't get to kill them. And if they make their own life-sized replica of your little Mr Minestrone.....and then they take him to the recycling depot to be destroyed and melted down into something actually useful.....you don't even get to kick them in the shins.
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| Hail the great and all-powerful Mr. Minestrone! |
And if I draw two stick figures on a piece of paper, and put a little legend underneath that says "one of these little stick figures is NOT mohammed", nobody gets to kill me, or anybody else over it. Sure images of mohammed are forbidden in the muslim religion.....that's a very interesting bit of trivia......but since I'm not a muslim, and since I don't live in a country with sharia law I really don't think that applies to me. END OF STORY.
And if some idiot (Terry Jones), down in the states wants to make a big fuss and publicly burn the qur'an .... well that's not very nice, and I must say I'm really uncomfortable with the concept of burning books because you don't agree with them, or they offend you, (or any reason really besides being snowed in in a secluded cabin with no firewood and nothing left but a library full of combustibles).... but....as long as he didn't steal the book, and as long as he doesn't violate fire code and burn a building down....he's free to do it. And you know what muslims, you can be as mad as a cat in a bath about it....but you don't get to grab and kill the first handful of whitey's that you see after you hear about it....and you don't get to demand his arrest, and you don't get to put bounties on his head.
You can call up your local american embassy and lodge a formal complaint, but you should be simply told that while yes, the government agrees that the burning of your holy book was disrespectful, no laws were broken, and nothing was hurt except your feelings so you're just going to have to be the better man here and suck it up. END OF STORY
And guess what....following the pattern of the above examples....if someone makes a truly disgusting movie that makes fun of your prophet and your faith.....well....that sucks. Settle down, go watch Monty Python's Life of Brian or Meaning of Life, or head to New York and watch The Book of Morman....and have a good laugh and go about your business.
Maybe have a discussion with your buddies about what a jerk that guy was to make such a shitty, historically inaccurate movie. Heck....call 100 of your closest friends and picket the US embassy, or if you're somewhere in the western world picket city hall.....but guess what? You're not justified going on a rampage. You don't get to threaten to kill people over this. Also, if you're in a civilized western country and you've got your kid carrying a sign that threatens death to anyone who violates your religious rules.....guess what else....you've overstepped any reasonable interpretation of what "religious tolerance" protects and it's probably time for social services to step in and have a nice long chat with you about acceptable parenting standards.
So what to do, what to do? Should the western world self-censor? Put Islam up on an untouchable pedestal? "Any and all free speech is protected, and even promoted....unless it might hurt the feelings of muslims because those fuckers are crazy and they're gonna kill somebody". Sounds like a good law. We'll just pretend they don't exist and get back to making fun of christians and jews and those silly atheists.....can you believe....they don't even believe in god. I mean.....checkmate...right there....you can't not believe in something if it doesn't exist....otherwise how can you know you don't believe in it. Dumbasses.
Or maybe we could do this concerted society-wide program of passive-aggressive criticism.....instead of drawing political cartoons criticizing mohammed, just leave it blank and write something like "we WOULD have put a scathing cartoon poking a little fun at the muslim prophet, but sharia law forbids it" in it's place. I'm sure after a few years of doing that the islamists will be so curious about whatever could they have wanted to draw there that they'll be practically begging us to give mohammed his own cartoon on Adult Swim.
Or...probably the best response is the equivalent of immersion therapy. "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" works on this principle, and it's probably what we're going to have to do in the end. Simply fill the internet, the newpapers, and the TV airways with our western blasphemy.....overwhelm them with so many things to be upset about that eventually they realize that they have to either give up trying to force everyone to play by their rules and learn to play nice.....or they completely snap and well....let's hope it doesn't come to that. But still....even if it does....it's better than tiptoeing around the big bully in the room. Sometimes you've just got to poke the bear.
